Through it all

What have you been through? what if i ask you that what would you say? Some may say where do you want my to start? Me as a man find it hard to tell my feelings. I think it is all man maybe. As a kid growing up who care how you felt, that is how it was in my house. You are told how to feel and you do not feel the way I say you can pick up your teeth on the to your room. So today i am a man, husband and dad. i find myself not talking to any one. I put on a mask and say i'm good. Knowing i am not the pain and shame from my past make it hard for me to go on with my life. what i feel almost cause me my life with my wife and kids. I know God is there but, in mine mind i do not think God care for me. I know he does what if i fail Him and he turn His back on me. some may say woe it is you. why can you say Jesus is your God saying that. you should pray for me. i should do the same for myself. this word may not make sense but this is my blog and i am getting stuff out of my head. i know God wants to take me to places but i have to let myself go to HIM. i need to let God have His way. if i can just let go He will have His way with my life.who care what is in the future as long as it is in His hands. i will let you have it God. you  are just to give so Jesus fix my wrongs.help me to over come. and bless my Wife for faithfulness to you and to Her family and to me when i made it hard for to love me but she does. i love you honey think about you all the time.